Expectation vs Experience
- H Pannila
- May 12, 2022
- 2 min read
As we slowly move through November and continue to explore the Joys of Living, I read a quote by Ed Halliwell about expectation vs. experience that really resonated with me. It was “The tension between your experience and your expectation is stress.” How true are those words?!
If you stop and think, how many times have we walked into a situation thinking in one way, but soon realize that it can turn into something very different. So how do we manage that mismatch between what’s in our heads and reality? Recognition.
A simple recognition that your expectations have not been met while also acknowledging what reality actually looks like. By taking a mindful approach, start by placing a filter of nonjudgment in front of you. Observe your thoughts and feelings and really give yourself that space to explore and understand. Do it with kindness.
This is not an easy process and for many of us, it can bring about some uncomfortable thoughts and feelings (our mind is a bit like the story Where the Wild Things Are!!) Let go of the push and pull of trying to control the situation and make a conscious note of how the experience made you feel. You can even view the experience as a Moment that Matters to yourself and your own personal development. Never forget to acknowledge that what you feel is valid, but also remember that clinging to your expectations can lead you to a ”dead end.”
TRY: Checking in with your personal (Auto) Pilot:
Make note of when your expectations start to rev up and create stress. Practice self-compassion towards yourself and just be with what you are feeling
Take control and know that if you want to move forward and past your expectations you can. Sitting in autopilot takes that strength away from you
Give yourself the space to experience things in the here and now. Be grounded.
I also wanted to share Caroline McHugh’s talk on being yourself. I won’t say too much about it but her line about true mirror’s helping us look for revelation and not reassurance was profound and something that related quite closely to today’s topic. I do hope you take some time to investigate should it interest you
The Art of Being Yourself. Ted Talk by Caroline McHugh
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